pecanhovits

iFode

Sergio — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:30:54 +0000

Minha gente, este post foi escrito de um iFode. Fim dos tempos. O ploc vive.

Sadie, the Rocket. (A cadela foguete)

Sergio — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:40:38 +0000

Holy fuckets… Today I almost had a heart attack. I was walking Sadie and stopped at a bakery to get bread. I tied her at an aluminum chair. No worries at all, she’s generally very well behaved.

What I could not expect is that as she adjusted to sit on the floor, the chair made some noise (of metal scratching on the ground). And the noise freaked Sadie out.

So I walked into the store and looked back to check at her… And saw a dog taking off in the middle of Columbus avenue, tail in between the legs, pulling a chair by the leash!

And the more she ran, the more noise the chair made. And the more noise, the more she ran.

And I go after her, desperate, screaming at her to stop. For my luck, the light was red and there was no traffic. She ran for a whole block, until the chair got stuck at a parkometer. Motherfucker…

***
(TUPI: Caralho… hoje eu quase morri do coração. Tava andando com a Seidi Sara e parei numa padaria pra comprar pão. Amarrei a cachorra numa cadeira de alumínio. Ela é bem comportada, não ia acontecer nada.

O que eu não contava é que a cadeira fazia barulho (de metal arrastando no chão). E esse barulho fez a cachorra entrar em pânico.

Segundos depois de entrar na padaria, olho pra trás e vejo um cachorro levantando vôo, puxando uma cadeira pelo meio da rua!

Pra minha sorte, o sinal estava fechado e ela não foi atropelada. Ela correu por um quarteirão inteiro, com o rabo entre as pernas, puxando a cadeira pela coleira.

E eu atrás, desesperado – desesperado, mandando ela parar. Quanto mais ela corria, mais barulho a cadeira fazia. Quanto mais barulho, mais ela entrava em pânico e queria correr.

Até que a cadeira ficou presa num poste e parou a cachorra num tranco pelo pescoço. Puta que pariu, tô com o coração na garganta até agora. Que cagada.)

Age of Aquarius (Era de aquário)

Sergio — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:16:51 +0000

A new musical, for a new age.

(TUPI: Peixinhos, peixinhos.)

Mickey (Mickey)

Sergio — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:32:12 +0000

About 20 days ago, on our third night at the new place, a mouse showed up at the kitchen to greet us.

You guys know how bad is the mice problem in New York. In our case it wasn’t really that bad, because we only saw the thing once.

We called an exterminator. He closed all the holes and we’ve been keeping the house clean. So we never saw Mickey again. The problem is that we just can’t fucking forget about it.

Dani keeps thinking that she is hearing things… Yesterday she went to Youtube to look for videos of rats – she wanted to learn how’s the sound that rats make. She ended up finding he grossest shit ever: First a a scene of rats eating food at someone’s kitchen. Then this interview with a lady telling about a rat that came out of the commode while she was taking a shit…

This morning I wanted to take a dump myself. Sure enough, I wasn’t able to do it. I was paranoid a rat would come out of the toilet and stick his had into my ass.

It’s like going to the beach right after watching “Jaws”. It’s not that you can’t do it. It’s just not fun anymore.

***

(TUPI: Há mais ou menos 20 dias apareceu um camundongo na nossa casa. Era a nossa terceira noite lá. Rato é um problema mais comum do que barata em Nova Iorque. A gente chamou um exterminador e nunca mais viu o bicho.

Mas a Dani está paranóica com medo. E eu estou estressado pra caralho com essa merda.

O exterminador fechou todos os buracos. A gente não deixa comida nenhuma exposta por aí. E a casa está um brinco. Não sei mais o que fazer pra Dani se acalmar.

Ontem à noite ela sismou que estava ouvindo barulhos. Porra, o apartamento é num prédio velho. Tudo faz barulho em prédio velho. Então ela decidiu ir no Youtube para entar aprender como é o barulho que os ratos fazem.

É claro que acabou encontrando os vídeos mais nojentos do mundo. Ratos roubando comida na cozinha de um apartamento… uma mulher contando que estava cagando e uma ratazana saiu pelo buraco da privada…

Essas coisas só servem pra deixar a gente mais paranóico. Hoje eu quis cagar de manhã e não consegui ficar à vontade. Não caguei por causa do vídeo da ratazana. É que nem ir à praia logo depois de assistir “Tubarão”.

Isso tudo por causa de um camundongo, que apareceu uma noite, 20 dias atrás. E nunca mais. Alguém sabe o que mais eu posso fazer pra ajudar a Dani a esquecer essa história?

(Em tempo: a Dani diz que sou eu quem não está deixando o assunto morrer e quem tá estressando demais. Pode até ser verdade. Mas eu não estava procurando vídeo de rato no Youtube.)

More from ¿tienes? Sí. (Mais tteennessee)

Sergio — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:49:53 +0000

Country Music Hall of Fame: apparently some people here are world-famous in America. Unfortunately, this was one of the few photos we took in Nashville, but the city is much better than that. Think of Fort Worth with more music.

Downtown Hairmann, TN. (Homem Peludo, TN)

After you pass Nashville, some nice views start to appear, as not shown on this photo.

This reunion-like tower made us feel right at home in Knoxville, TN. It's one of the few buildings in the city taller than 20 feet. You're not missing anything if you skip this stop.

Now you know why some cheap hotels have fleas.

Memphis (Memphis)

Sergio — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:32:27 +0000

I tried to cheer Sadie up, but she really thought that Graceland sucks.

Sun Studio, where Elvis recorded his first songs. Seriously, this photo is saving you a trip. No need to go there now. That read car has been parked there by Elvis himself.

A Pyramid has been built in downtown Memphis in case one day the King dies.

Arkansas (Alcançar)

Sergio — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:31:51 +0000

When the best you have to show of a state are a blurry photo and a billboard inviting you to go somewhere else on the next state, you know there’s something wrong there.

Sunflower plantation, possibly in Arkansas.

Billboard calling to Graceland.

Images from the trip (Imagens das tripas)

Sergio — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:11:33 +0000

Hay, dude. (Feno)

Postcard from Sadie's favorite place.

Sadie is a chic dog. Her favorite stop so far was in Paris, Texas.

Tennessee (¿Tienes? Sí.)

Sergio — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:55:34 +0000

Nashville – From Texarkana we rode into Arkansas and made no stops until we crossed the Mississippi River. We felt like stopping at Hope, Ark., where a big sign said “Birth place of president Bill Clinton”, but we figured that the city’s main attraction is probably that sign we saw.

So we went to Memphis, straight to Graceland. Elvis’ mansion is much like a Disney World theme park. Since we had Sadie, we couldn’t get in to it. Correct, we did not see the house. But we did pay the $8 park. I tried to convince Dani to leave Sadie in the car, under the sun, but that didn’t work out.

"Fuck Elvis", Sadie said.

We then visited Sun Studio, the place where Elvis and Johnny Cash and other people first recorded. Today it’s a restaurant that doesn’t take dogs, so we didn’t get into. The place is not specially pretty, so I won’t post an image now. We rode into downtown and that was pretty much it. In a nutshell, Memphis sucks.

***

So we went to Nashville – a lot better than Memphis. It’s a small town, but with many neat areas, a lot of personality and everything. It’s the country music capital of the world! That means: the country music capital of the part of the world that listens to country music. Which is pretty much the part of the world that contains the U.S.

There was a little street with a bunch of bars and people walking everywhere that we would had certainly have spent sometime – hadn’t we had Sadie with us. (The main reason for this trip is to take Sadie to New York, let’s not forget that…) But I really felt like visiting one of those bars and having a beer. Despite the country music, I think I would have enjoyed. But no. We had Sadie. So we went to the hotel and then to bed.

***

I’ve been trying to convince Dani to put Sadie to sleep, but that hasn’t worked out so far. I still have two more days on the road and I’m the only person she can talk to. Let’s see how it goes if I keep insisting on the subject.

(TUPI: Memphis é uma titica, Nashiville é bacaninha. O Tennessee é grande pra cacete.)

Cross-country trip (Viagem cruz-credo)

Sergio — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:33:45 +0000

Texarkana – We’re on the last leg of our move to New York: a half-country road trip to take Sadie Sara to the big city. This week we’ll make daily updates here, as we see interesting/weird things along the road. Yesterday we took our first deviation to visit Paris, Texas. We just couldn’t miss the chance. Now off to Graceland.

TUPI: Texarkana (isso é uma cidade) – Na segunda viajamos a Dallas para a última etapa da nossa mudança para Nova Iorque: buscar a Seidi Sara. Vamos atualizar o ploc diariamente esta semana com fotos do que encontrarmos pelo caminho. Aí em baixo, Seidão em frente à Torre Eiffel, em Paris, Texas. Seguimos rumo a Graceland, em Memphis.